She was born on the 2nd of January 1996. She’s a Capricorn. A very stubborn one. I was born on the 5th of December 1995. I am a Sagittarius. A very fiery one. It is well known that Capricorn don’t really get along with Sagittarius. Or do they? Well, I’ll probably have to become friends with her at some point. She’s a bit scary. She scares the hell out of me. She’s the darkness to my light. And oh boy. She burns the whole shit to the ground. Now I know where that’s coming from. I spent all my life living in her shadow. Or she in mine. No room for neither. A constant battle of who will get the spotlight. Maya or Soumaya? Aren’t we the same?
You wish. She’s way cooler this bitch. Sorry I called you bitch. You made my life a sweet hell for the past 28 years. I deserve a little space to be naughty. My turn to haunt you now. I get it. I totally get. She’s the one who’s been haunting me. Perhaps even the one who tried to kill me all these times. Bitch. 4 near deaths and counting. The recklessness flows in her blood. Not mine. Don’t we share the same? We do. Hers is spicier tho. I like it. She’s exciting. The darkness to my light. The evil to my halo. She’s born with it. She’s the one who answers to the drum. She’s born with it. Her voice is a medicine. She is medicine. I repressed her all my life. I am sorry I did. I didn’t know. And all this time, all she wanted to do was sing. She’s the singer. I get it now. The witch that howls with the wolves. The Earth. The Mother. Fire and Earth. Fire dying in her soil. She’s been suffocating me all this time. Yet, she’s been suffocated as well. Both suffocating each other for a space that neither could claim. Well it’s time now to make space for both. It’s time now to make space for one. Because we do make one.
My parents opened a portal on the 2nd of January 1996. She came through. I was born on the 5th of December 1995. Yet. All my life I have been told otherwise. Talk about an identity crisis. A Sagittarius wild Fire trying to fit into Capricorn’s Earth’s rigidity. Doesn’t fit. Yet, I made it fit somehow. They wanted me to be ahead in school. Be the smartest. Have the best grade. That I did. I did it all her way. And then rebelled against it, my way. Smartest one who always gets kicked out of class. Partying all nights yet still ahead of everyone else. Runs away with strangers. Comes out first in everything. The best of the best. Is there another competition I can win? Try to make it harder this time. I am bored. I already know everything. Can I ask more questions? Find creative ways to solve math problems. Find destructive ways to solve life problems. Puzzles. Mysteries. Drama. Makes reckless decisions. Smells like danger and toxic behaviors. Is there a cliff nearby I can jump out of? Battle between both worlds. Heaven vs Hell. Who will win? None. A battle between Light and Dark. War. I could never understand. Why am I so conflicted? Why am I so confused? I could never make a decision and stick to it. Hot. Cold. Hot. Cold again. Let’s do A but switch to B in the middle of it all. Oh wait I think I’d rather go D. D for dark. Her favorite color.
29th of October 2023
Darkness implies light. Light implies darkness.
You hold both within.
Oneness.
Embrace it all.
Do not run away from your darkness. Sink into it. Soak into it. Draw power from it. Darkness alchemizes into the brightest light. Light alchemizes into the brightest darkness.
Both make one.
Both make you.
You are an alchemist.
Alchemize.
🖤
Capricorn ambitions coupled with Sagittarius wild spirit. Killer recipe. Would have been. Could have been. Still can be. Now it will be. Now it is. It took me 28 years before finally integrating it. Identity crisis. I don’t even know how to qualify it. What is it? How do you call it when all your life has been a lie. No wonder I made it my life’s purpose to find myself. I guess it was written in the stars after all. I knew it yet I still ignored it. My grandma told me once. “Your grandma is old and senile, don’t listen to her”. My sister did too. I just got upset. Repressed anger finally coming into the light. I never understood why this was such a secret. I never understood why I have been so upset about it. Could have just normalised it somehow. Somehow. Parents. I love them tho. But guys seriously?!
This year is the year I finally fully claimed it. And here’s what happened. Maya was born on the 5th and Soumaya came back on the 2nd. Today is her birthday. Happy Birthday Soumaya. Or should I say Maya? Passport Maya. I will just call her Brujita. She speaks Spanish. She lives in the Jungle. She sings and plays the guitar. She dresses in wolf fur. Hangs out with wolves. She’s a sorceress. An enchantress of sound. All the lives I have been to. Can’t wait to physically visit you. You’re that little girl. Api. Plant medicine. Mama Aya brought light to her. I understand now. The sound of the drums. The Jaguar spirit. Mine. The Wolves. Hers. The howling. The Moon. Wolves meet Jaguar. They talked. They decided it was time. We both like fur. Wild spirits at last. She’s a witch. I am a Fire Goddess. Earth meets Fire. Does that make fireworks? Today is the day we reconcile. Peace. Harmony. Love. Apparently we both love diamonds. At least we get along on that. Is it my life or hers?
Ours. It’s ours.
Welcome to the your highest timeline Mayita. This where our power merges. Calling through space and time. Calling back all lost fragments. Time is illusion. She’s timeless and so are you.
Happy Birthday to my Twin Flame. You’re the one I have been looking for all this time. Welcome home. I am complete now.
Aho. ૐ