It started with a dance. Many lifetimes ago. Deep into a jungle I could barely recognize. Familiar sounds. Birds. Oceans. Trees and butterflies. Drums. Fire. Smoking life between our feet. Dancing to the drums of our own heartbeats. It was many lifetimes ago yet I remember it as if it was today. In the chaos of my own self. I found myself again. In the death of my own self, I was re-incarnated again. What a day.
Kundalini awakening. Spine. Serpent. Fire. Dance. Killer recipe. Little did I know what was awaiting for me. 08.08. Portal. Lion. Fire. Lioness. Welcome home.
This could have been a day like any other day but it wasn’t. 08.08 has been always a special date for me. High resonance. High vibrations. Hyper sensitivity. Last year. Same day, I channeled for the first time. Council of One. Voices. Writing. Lightcodes. Messages. Surrealism in action through me. I have since wondered, how does channeling work? Is it my imagination fully into play or is it actually real? Both? None? Somewhere in between? There we go again.
Nope. I won’t go there. I came here to dance. To enjoy. To live through the newly awakened energy in me. Kundalini activation. What an e x p e r i e n c e. Sounds. Colors. Energy. Vibrations. Lightcodes. Downloads. Screams. Pain. Suffering. Rage. Anger. Tears. Singing. Dancing. Laughter. Orgasms. Ecstasy. Bliss. Animals. Jungle. Soul family. Did I forget anything? Yes. You forgot everything. You can’t put an experience like this on paper. Don’t try Maya. You will ruin it. I won’t. I will. Perhaps. Perhaps not. I want to write. I want to share. The Lioness. The fire. She lives. She dies. She’s eternal. Today she re-incarnated.
Have you ever wondered how it feels like when you re-incarnate? Do you remember? Do you think you could ever remember? Today I did. I remembered and I lived it again. I lived through it. I died. White lights. Cliche. Colors. Colors everywhere. Colors fading into a pale blue. Blue carrying me to the otherside. Didn’t know death had a color. Blue. How cool. I was carried to the other side by a color. Wait. I thought it would be angels. Nope. Guess they lied to us again. I went back home for a moment. To my soul family. The birds. The trees. The jungle. This is how it felt. Home. Homesick. I could visit them again. I could feel them near. They were always near. I never left. I was always with them. They were always with me. All this time. I was there. Living on the otherside. No wonder I was barely present in here. No wonder I was struggling going through life. No wonder I always felt I didn’t belong. It is because I didn’t belong. I didn’t want to belong. I thought that my real life wasn’t here. That my real life was always there. With my soul family. The birds. The trees. The jungle. What’s real?
I struggled for so long. Growing up. Never understood. Too complex. Overthinking. Oversensitive. Too many questions. Weird questions. Unconventional questions. My own world. I built my own bubble and lived in it. You don’t care about anything Maya. You are reckless. You are nonchalent. Can you pay attention sometimes? You will kill yourself one day. Perhaps that’s what I was looking for. Killing myself so I could join them, my family, my real family. Little did I know that they were fighting to fully push me to the otherside. This side I have been living on all my life. This side I have somehow always rejected. Spending time until I could live again. Breathing until I could die again. Dying until I could birth again.
Now I know. Now I realise. Presence. Being present. Being here is what matters. I am always there but I also chose to be here. For some time. What’s time? Dance, remember. I chose to come here for something. To live. To experience earth in its full bloom. Earth school. To be at service. To myself. To others. To the world. Being at service. That’s what matters. Am I in service by not being present? No you are not. You must be here. Fully here. Present. Anchored. Grounded. Rooted. Mother. Now I get it. Take your place in the world.
I remember. I remember now. They reminded me of my vows. I took them again. Hands on my heart. Does infinity have a heart? They carried me through the light again. Blue. Blue is definitely my color. An explosion of colors. The birds. The trees. The jungle. There. A spiral. It felt like a spiral. Family. Sounds. Music. Alan watts in the background. Death. Skulls. Contemplation. Magic.
In that spiral. She re-incarnated again. In that spiral. She rose. Not from the ashes this time. But from soil. The soil of her mother. The mother of all. Pachamama. She rose from grass. From flowers. From leafs. From water. From birds. She rose from a jungle of wonders. A jungle of light. A jungle of colors. A jungle of sounds. A jungle of fire. She rose from a jungle of bliss. She rose from a jungle of gratitude. Guided. Protected. Carried through in the highest vibration: that of love. Unity. Essence. One. That’s what incarnation feels like.
There, in that beautiful whirlwind of love, she came back home. Earth. Mother. Lions. She came back as a Lioness this time. Hear her RAWR.
"Kundalini awakening. Spine. Serpent. Fire. Dance."
This struck me rather significantly, particularly in relation to a great many of the experiences I've had in relation to ego-death, where the subject that I often classify as the "I", ceases to exist and is profoundly replaced/combined with something of a burning serpent, that was from both outside of me, and within me, hiding until the day I discovered it. Or it discovered me.